10% Happier with Dan Harris Folgen

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Meditation and mindfulness doesn’t uproot your capacity to be judgmental, but it can help you see the value in being judgmental by learning how to work with the judging mind.  La Sarmiento has been practicing Vipassana meditation since 1998. La is a mentor for the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, a teacher with Cloud Sangha, and a contributor to the Ten Percent Happier app. In this episode we talk about: How mindfulness can help us identify when we’re being judgmental The difference between discernment and judgment How it can be so delicious to be judgmental of others – but why it’s actually harmful to ourselves and others The four questions to ask when we notice ourselves going into judgment mode  How to operationalize the phrase “am I suffering right now?”  Investigating the motivations behind striving for success  Why owning up to being a jerk is sometimes the exact right answer Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/la-sarmiento-564

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- This is the last episode in our four-part series where we’re counter-programming against the way Valentine’s Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family.  Today we’re probing a mystery: Why, from an evolutionary standpoint do we take heartbreak and rejection so hard? It can send the body and mind into a vicious spiral. As one genomics researcher has said, “heartbreak is one of the hidden landmines of human existence.“  There are countless pieces of art dedicated to heartbreak. Songs, movies, poems, the list is pretty much endless. But what does science say? Why does this happen to us? How exactly does the body react to a bad break up, from a romantic partnership, or a friendship or even a job? And what can we do to get over it? These are the questions the writer, Florence Williams decided to tackle after her own 25 year marriage fell apart. And the answers are fascinating. Florence Williams is a science journalist and author, and a contributing editor at Outside Magazine. Her latest book is called, Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey. It is just out in paperback, and has been nominated for the PEN/Wilson Award for Literary Science Writing.  In this episode we talk about: The passage of time as a way to heal all wounds The role purpose plays in recovery  William’s three part heartbreak recovery toolkit (calming down, connecting to other people and finding purpose) The connection between openness and resilience How to become more open to a lack of closure The good and bad news about heartbreak And, rejecting some of the conventional approaches to heartbreak Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/florence-williams-562 

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.    Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends. This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair.  In this episode we talk about: Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called “displacement theory” The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness  Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing) How to reframe social rejection The importance of generosity How to handle conflict with your friends The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships When to walk away from a relationship  How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines How to deal with social anxiety And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561