10% Happier with Dan Harris Folgen

If you care about your long term health and happiness, the quality of your relationships is an area you should focus on. And the good news here is that love – as it applies to friends, family, and romantic partners – is not a factory setting, but instead a skill. Drs. John and Julie Gottman are the perfect guests to talk about how to cultivate good relationships in your life.  World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, Dr. John Gottman has conducted over 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute and Affective Software Inc. as well as author of over 200 published academic articles and author or co-author of more than 40 books, including The New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.  Dr. Julie Gottman is the Co-Founder and President of The Gottman Institute and Co-Founder of Affective Software, Inc. A highly respected clinical psychologist and author, she is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert advisor on marriage, domestic violence, gay and lesbian adoption, same-sex marriage, and parenting issues. She is the co-creator of the immensely popular The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples and she also co-designed the national clinical training program in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.  This episode explores: how to talk (and listen) to your partner in moments of conflict; what to do before you start trying to solve a problem together; why “there’s no such thing as constructive criticism;” the details of John’s research findings, which have allowed him to predict with stunning accuracy whether a couple will get divorced; how the Gottmans themselves do when it comes to operationalizing their findings/advice; how and why betrayal occurs; when a couple should consider separating; the role mindfulness can play in healthy relationships; and the role of humor in relationships. Content warning: There are a few mentions of sensitive topics, most notably domestic violence, which Julie discusses for a few minutes towards the end of the interview.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/john-julie-gottman-418

This episode features Evan Thompson, author of the book Why I Am Not a Buddhist. Evan Thompson is a writer and professor of philosophy at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. His work and research focuses on the nature of the mind, the self, and human experience combining cognitive science, philosophy of mind, phenomenology, and cross-cultural philosophy, particularly Asian philosophical traditions.  This episode explores: Thompson’s beef with what he calls “Buddhist exceptionalism,” “Buddhist modernism,” and “neural Buddhism;” why Buddhism is so attractive in the Western world; our culture’s need for validation of meaning through science; McMindfulness and the Western obsession with individualism; the dialogue between science and Buddhism; what the Buddha meant by the word dukkha, or suffering; and Evan lays out his case for an alternative to Buddhist exceptionalism, which he calls “cosmopolitanism.” Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/evan-thompson-417

One of the most consistent requests we get from listeners is to explore non-Buddhist forms of meditation. That’s what we’re going to do with this episode. Our guest is Swami Tyagananda, who has been a Hindu monk since 1976, and is now the Hindu chaplain both at MIT and Harvard. This conversation explores: the basics of Hinduism, including its history, and its approach to prayer and meditation; letting go; karma; rebirth (and how and why to escape it); the deep connections between the Buddhist and Hindu traditions; Swami Tyagananda’s contention that all prayers are answered; and a recipe for reducing stress and anxiety. Swami Tyagananda also shares his thoughts about how to deal with our sense of not-enoughness or incompleteness and he provides a new way of thinking about the trickiest of all Buddhist concepts: annata, or the idea that the self is an illusion. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/swami-tyagananda-416