10% Happier with Dan Harris Folgen

Conflict doesn’t have to suck. These iconic relationship researchers tell us how.  Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection is the name of a new book by esteemed guests Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman. They are the co-Founders of The Gottman Institute and have completed over 40 years of research with more than 3,000 couples. John is the researcher; Julie the clinician. They have written several books together, including Eight Dates and The Love Prescription. Even though the majority of the Gottmans’ research is on couples, the advice is applicable to all types of relationships.   In this episode we talk about: The three principle conflict styles Why we often don’t understand what it is we’re fighting about Perpetual problems vs. Solvable problems Why the first three minutes of an argument are key  The simple sentence to use at the beginning of an argument How to downregulate defensiveness in an argument Why the Gottmans’ believe there is no such thing as constructive criticism Why apologizing quickly isn’t always the right move When a fight might spell the end  Related Episodes: Dan Savage on how to handle disappointment in your relationships, how to get better at sex, and why “a couple” is an Illusion Lori Brotto on mindful sex Devon and Craig Hase on how not to be a hot mess Myisha Battle on love, sex, dating, and relationship myths Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here Full Shownotes: http://tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gottmans-726

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We’re dropping a fun little treat in your feed today: it’s an episode of The Puzzler, a new podcast from writer A.J. Jacobs, who was my guest on Ten Percent Happier at the beginning of December. His new book, also called The Puzzler, is all about his exploration of the world of puzzles – everything from word games to jigsaw puzzles to Sudoku and beyond – and how what he calls “the puzzle mindset” can really improve your life. So then he asked me to be his guest on The Puzzler, a daily podcast that he hosts, with so-called “celebrity” guests trying to do puzzles. I’ve said before that I’m not really a puzzle guy, but A.J. is a delight and it was a lot of fun getting to be on his show – and that’s the episode we’re sharing with you today. You can find “The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs” wherever you get your podcasts. And thanks, A.J., for having me.  Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- You may be breathing wrong. Here’s how to fix it.  At times, self-improvement can seem like a never-ending hallway filled with limitless shame and insufficiency. So when something as simple as the breath falls into this category, it seems only natural to meet that news with some resistance. Our guest today, James Nestor, argues that many of us, of all things, are breathing incorrectly but that by fixing our breathing, it can help with both physical and psychological ailments. Nestor is a science journalist who wrote a book called, Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, which spent 18 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and was translated into more than 35 languages. In this episode we talk about: How Nestor got interested in breathing in the first place Why we are the worst breathers in the animal kingdom The importance of posture The deleterious effects of mouth breathing Why we need to chew more The relationship between breathing and anxiety The relationship between breathing and sleep And we dive into a variety of breathing exercises Where to find James Nestor online: Website: www.mrjamesnestor.com Social Media: Facebook Instagram Book Mentioned: Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art Other Resources Mentioned: Daniel E. Lieberman The Wim Hof Method Dr. Stanislav Grof and holotropic breathwork Dr. Richard P. Brown Matthew P. Walker More on Kundalini Yoga and Breathing Sudarshan Kriya Dr. Herbert Benson and tummo breathing technique Related Episodes: Three Lessons from Happiness Research | Emma Seppälä Sign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/james-nestor-rerun Additional Resources: Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install